Arminians and Calvinists "battle" over Christmas carol

Christian philosopher and Arminian theologian Jerry Walls has rewritten a certain well-known carol to enable Calvinists to sing it without the stress of mental reservations. Here is Jerry's version.

Joy to the chosen! their Lord has come;

Let them receive their King;

Only their hearts prepare him room

For the others cannot sing

For the others cannot sing

For the others, the others cannot sing.

Note to the world: the Sovereign reigns

And men he does employ

Like fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains

Controls them as his toys

Controls them as his toys

Controls them, controls them as his toys!

So long let sin and sorrows grow

As murderers shall kill;

For he ordaineth everything

By his secret, hidden will

By his secret, hidden will

By his secret, his secret hidden will.

He rules the world by sovereign might

And makes the nations prove

The glories of omnipotence

And wonders of his wrath

And wonders of his wrath

And wonder, and wonder how this is love. 

Ho ho ho.

Jason Huff, a pastor from Greenwood, Indiana, has responded with a Calvinist rewrite for Arminians. Here is Jason's hymn.

Joy to the world . . . the Western world
The rest? Eh . . . not so much.
‘Cause everybody here
Gets several times to hear
But not those in Nepal
Because we dropped the ball
Our free will has stopped God from coming near.

Joy to the ones who get to choose
The Prime Directive states
To interfere
With free will is not dear
In fact, it’s really mean
For God to intervene
Except when we really, really want Him to.

Joy to the world, the choice is yours
God waits and waits and waits
He cannot do a thing
A puppet on a string
Until you make the call
Then He’ll give you it all
Unless you waver, then all bets are off.

Maybe each side has thoughtful points
Perhaps some truth to both
We do not understand
All bits of our God’s plan
Let’s not tie all our fate
To cantankerous debate
Join hands over Christ’s birth and celebrate!

Very funny.

I suggest that we draw from the insights of both and just stick with the universalist version:

Joy to the world! The Lord is come
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven and nature sing
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing 

Joy to the world! The Saviour reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy 

No more let sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground
He comes to make
His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found
Far as the curse is found
Far as, far as the curse is found

He rules the world with truth and grace
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness
And wonders of His love
And wonders of His love
And wonders and wonders of His love